Neena Time

My mom (aka Neena) came for her 4th visit to Clarksville.  Love that we live close!  As with all her visits, we were glad to have her here.  However, the boys were little stinkers because they were still transitioning to daddy's absence.  I, too, was a little stinker because I was so stressed about C's party.  She swears she had a great time.  We'll have to make up for it next time. :)

Par-tay

C's first friends bday party was a success!  Glad it's over. :)

Happy Birthday Baby Connor!

5 years old is far from a baby, but my baby you'll always be. Seems just like yesterday I gave birth to you.  Full of surprises, you looked nothing like I had pictured.  I've always shared a closeness with you.  For a long time it was just the two of us...entertaining one another all day long until Daddy came home from work.  I wanted to be the best mother to you so I read all those pregnancy and newborn books, made you listen to baby Mozart, read you long books the nights you couldn't fall asleep on your own, took countless video recordings of you doing nothing but looking cute, and introducing every food but sugary ones your first year.  It must have paid off because you're pretty awesome!  You are such a kind hearted, considerate child.  You have your father's love of laughter; I'll never forget when you told me you like to make people laugh, it is exactly what Daddy has said to me once.  You are mature and wise beyond your years, like an old soul.  You have an extremely good, and sometimes scary, memory.  You are the best big brother any kid could ask for, you are patient and understanding to your demanding little brother's needs (maybe not all the time but for the most part).  You love adventure but are very cautious.  You are a ladies man without even knowing it (which makes you a true ladies man); girls flock to you and it makes me giggle when I pick you up at school and every girl in your class wants to hug you.  You make  me want to be a better person and you have since you entered the world.  You have taught me so much about  life and unconditional love.  I know you are going to do great things!  I am so proud and honored to be your mother. Happy 5th Birthday Bubby.

The Birthday Extravaganza

In preparing for C's birthday party, I keep forgetting that his real birthday is on Friday!  Our family of 4 celebrated last Friday with an evening that would be like the one on his real bday (due to J leaving).  We had a traditional meal picked out by the birthday kid (Taco Bell was the request) followed by giving him his big gift (a bike; he actually cried, happy tears), and cake (cookie cake for the fake bday). 

Little brother kept blowing out the candle

My mom (aka Neena to the boys) will be here tomorrow.  Her first trip visiting us in the fall.

Party planning procrastination is coming along smoothly now.  Have most done but making a banner, buying a few more decor things, and shopping for the food.  Here's a sneak peek:

Feeling Emotional...

I have guilt when I write this, because things can be so much worse right now.  I feel guilt that I feel this way because I have witnessed my friends be strong for a year while my husband was by my side at night.  I feel guilt because two wives on my street each had a husband not ever come home.  I feel guilt that we have been so blessed for the past five years in an unstable lifestyle.

I want to break down, I want to feel sad but that guilt creeps in and reminds me of those things above.  6 weeks is nothing...nothing in the army.  He's safe, he's on US soil...I should not complain!  I feel like I'm new to the army life and I'm not, I've been doing this for 10 years.  But this is the first time he's left us now that we have a family.  I want to feel pity for myself, but I just can't let myself do it.  I have to be strong.  Writing this helps let out those weaknesses.  The weakness of watching my 2 year old have a meltdown in a store crying, "Daddy.  Daddy.  Daddy hold you."  He knows and this is just day 1.  I've heard from my friends with children about their struggles of the kids misbehaving, acting out, breaking down during the deployments...army children have a sixth sense about these situations.  They know that their daddy is gone, not understanding why, as much as you may try to explain; and explaining to an almost 5 year old that daddy is at school or training or fighting bad guys, it might as well be in Chinese.  He knows too, my sweet boy has been trying me a lot today, saying and doing things he wouldn't otherwise do. 

But it's time to pull myself from the bootstraps, slap on that thick skin.  To me, this 6 weeks as a "single mother" will be a family version of the soldier's army training.  A 6 week preparedness course...how to prepare for the worst case scenario, a deployment.  I've done 2 deployments, schools, JRTC, NTC, field training, etc as an army wife...now it's time to do it as an army mom.  Hooah!

Oh and to start the Army mom preparedness course, I will share a video I saw numerous times yesterday while waiting for a new ID card (I couldn't hear it there)...

And in case, I ever need a good, patriotic cry...
(JR Martinez, a true war hero from the 101st, a contestant on DWTS)

Pumpkin Patch 2011

This year we tried a new farm for our pumpkin patch fun.  The main seller on going to this new one was that they had a military day, with free admission for active duty and half price for family.  So what would have cost $27 to get in, we only paid $10.  And I'm so happy I'm cheap because otherwise we would have gone to the farm we went to last year and this one was so much better!  Honeysuckle Hill in Springfield, TN.  The drive to get there was beautiful and it was a perfect fall weathered day.  We went in the morning, so it wasn't too crowded and there was so much to do!  They had a corn maze, corn popper (air filled trampoline like device), tunnel slides, cow train, catfish pond, fake-duck races, playgrounds, farm animals, tire swings made to look like horses, sand area, tractor bikes, gem mining, country store,and hay rack rides.  And children get a free pumpkin with their admission!