The Time That is Now!

"Parenthood" on NBC is one of my all time favorite television shows.  I think the main reason why is because that is the type of family I hope to raise and experience one day.  Sunday family dinners with my children, their spouses, and grandchildren.  Holidays. Birthdays. Baseball events and school activities. Sicknesses and failures. All members there to show their support.  And it's okay if not every one gets along, you accept the differences and love them anyways because that is what I think a family should do.  After all, when no one else is there, as people come in and out of your life, family remains the same. 

Is this view just something I've learned on tv?  There is a piece of me that might think so, but there is a piece of me that has experienced something like this.   It might have been a long time ago. It might have been perceived a little more perfect than reality because it was experienced through the eyes and heart of a child.  But I know it exists because of that time, and I know it exists because I have met people who come from families like this. 

 I understand that with a family people will move away, start their own family, live a different life...but is it really too hard to remember where we came from?  Is it too selfless an act to think of those who hold us dear to their hearts? We may be busy with all that goes on in our little world, but others might be holding on to what was once their little world that diminished over time.  As we raise our children, keep in mind who raised us.  They were once in our same exact moment.

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10 years ago I moved away from family.  I was ready for independence. "Start" my own life.  How naive, immature, insensitive I was.  However, it was because of that I learned a valuable lesson.  When I was alone watching my child smile for the first time my heart ached to share that life changing moment with ones I loved most, my family.  1st birthdays, 1st steps, 1st day of school, I desperately wanted to share.  Not only for my family to experience but also for my children to experience the love and support in that moment from family.  Distance made a big part in that.  Distance made me get what it means to have a family.

Life is precious.  My husband and I have seen that all around us.  From the little boy 2 houses down being raised without a father who was KIA to the task of taking a lifeless baby to the morgue and hearing the cries of the parents to taking pictures of life events that will never be shared or experienced with family (and when it is, it is a day cherished forever in our hearts and is a treasure to have captured in a photo when our minds can no longer remember). 

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I was elated when we found out we were moving 5 1/2 hours from where I grew up. The closest to "home" I had been in 7 years. I could make up for the time that was lost.  Only I found out that the time that was lost, was lost forever.  I learned as I was growing up, my loved ones grew older. Loved ones grew apart. Some had even passed unexpectedly and before their time; before the time I knew I had taken them for granted.  But that can't be changed. 

What can be changed is how I take advantage of the time that is now! There will be no re dos as I've sadly learned the hard way.  But I can take those experiences and learn from them.  I have children now and know how extremely important they are to me. I can put myself in my mother's shoes. I can envision how I would like to be treated.  I can imagine what would be most important to me in the future.  I can take that and give those needs and wants to those who are going through that little world right now.  I might have yet to be in that little world but one day I will be.  I can make a difference.  I can realize and see the family I watch on tv and long for with my children, is a family I have now.  It may not be perfect like I thought it once was. Some family might be missing, but I can hold on to the hope that they will do the right thing and they too will realize what is here right now will be gone one day.  Not for me, not for my children, but for those who created their first little world.