We finally bought a new battery for our scale. I'm glad it wasn't put off any longer because I am in big trouble. 10 lbs from the weight I vowed I would never let myself get to again. In a month or less, I could have been there.
I knew I was feeling bigger (my jeans barely close but I was in major denial..."the dryer must have shrunk these") and my face was looking puffed out in pictures, but when I stepped on that scale after 4 months that big number smacked me in the face. I cannot believe I have let myself get there again. After all the hard work I've done in the past, whish out the window! (I weighed this much when I was 9 months pregnant with B!!)
So back to calorie counting and proportion control it is. Once I get the food cravings under control, I'll throw in the exercise. Hopefully soon the weather will stay nice so I can take up jogging (again!).
I'm gonna be honest, I love food! A lot of people love food, unfortunately I love the bad foods. I blame it on ballet. I need something to blame it on other than myself, ha. Dance never felt like exercise to me. It was something I loved to do, a way to express myself and push myself to work hard. I had extremely bad eating habits when I was in my most active days of dance (high school). I'd eat Cheetos, Twix, and a soda pretty much every day at lunch (I had $10 a week lunch allowance, had to make it stretch) and when I got a car I'd occasionally pop in the McDonalds drive thru, order my classic #2 meal (2 cheeseburgers, fries, and drink), and speed off to my daily dance class; those were the days when I didn't eat my mom's dinner after class at 8 pm. When I quit dance I packed on the pounds, like majorly. And I couldn't figure out why because my eating habits had stayed the same. That was it! My eating habits stayed the same but I was no longer dancing 12+ hours a week. Oh and I thought I was like my husband, could eat whatever I want and not gain a pound...uh, no! He's just a freak of nature.
Needless to say, it has been a struggle ever since. I hate exercise. I don't like being sweaty, out of breath, hot, etc. I was those things when I danced but I never felt it because I was passionate about the art. I'd love to go to a ballet class, it would be a great way for me to lose the weight, however because of the weight (and 10 years of not dancing) I cannot hold my arms out for more than 45 seconds without them feeling like they're gonna fall off and my arabesque is now like a tendu thanks to my big ol' "junk in the trunk badonkadonk." Therefore, I am left to use other measures of tortured fun (like walking, Zumba, jogging).
I know I will get where I am happy at again. 15 pounds less (more would be nice but I'm happy with the 15). It's gonna take some time, motivation, hard work, and consistency. I've done it before and I have faith I can do it again. Maybe I'll think twice before becoming Miss Piggy Pigs A Lot again.
This is a great post !!!! When you feel weak, please come back and read this. It is very inspirational.
ReplyDeleteLove you.